Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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