Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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