I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I intend to get homeless drunk
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
