y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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