i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
