Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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