i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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