Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
