My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
