We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
