you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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