I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
