Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do herpes really smell.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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