I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
