SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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