i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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