Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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