Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There are leaves in my underwear?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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