Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
