You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
