If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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