too bad you live with your parents still
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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