he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
