Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
