If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
