he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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