Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
