I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
