Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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