wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
