There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this boner is exhausting
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
