WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
