Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
