Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
