When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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