I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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