And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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