i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize