the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
