This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
