i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
