just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
