I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
