I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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