If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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