Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
