Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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