it's not cheating when I paid for it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
