fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize