when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
