Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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