it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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