I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
