i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
