So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
