I showed him my bush... on skype.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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