I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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