STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
