Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize