Non-Jews are for practice
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize