I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i think my cat just said my name.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
