and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did you just see the Batmobile???
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They took my balls.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
