so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
