He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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