dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
