It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
