Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I need help removing her.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
