Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
