I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
