And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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