Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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